Good morning and welcome to Coffee Chat!
I am happy to have you join me today in some deep discussion.

Still here?

I promise, it won't hurt any!  Well, maybe a little.   It's kinda up to you.
It's just, every now and then, I need to dig down deep and pull out some stuff that is buried deep within.  Examine it closely.   Ponder it awhile.   A self check in, if you will.

I may even know what to do after such an examination.  I may not.
More than likely, I will have to step back several times and revisit the situation.
I can always use a little help.

Pssst.  That's where you come in.  
Ready?


Image source

There exists, for everyone, a sentence - a series of words - that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you're lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first.
 

~ Philip K. Dick, VALIS 

Words used as creative force; words used as weapons. 
We are surrounded by both.    Both may be launched with speed and accuracy, capable of taking the listener out at the knees.   We stumble.   We Submit.  We Surrender.   
Whether pleasure or pain, there is an a kind of catharsis to both. 

It would be a lovely world if people only spoke those words that were more beautiful than the silences swirling about us.   We know that is not the world we live in.  
I don't know about you, but my computer screen has a entire universe of angry, bitter and hateful people living inside it.   I do my best to avoid those places.   Sometimes they find me; but I have the ultimate ability of control in this circumstance.


MY COMPUTER HAS AN ON/OFF SWITCH.

And your does also, and yes it really is that simple.

If you happen to be one of those nasty people spreading your venom via the web (although I am quite confident NONE of you here are in fact THAT type of person), I don't think I can help you any more than simple saying:  Get a bigger life.  Then you will realize how small the web truly is.   Breath the fresh air.  Breath out the negative poison that will surely kill you.   Come join us on the softer side of life.  

Beyond my computer screen?
People don't come with a mute button.

And that quote further up there -- that's what I call a Truth Bomb.
It's one of those enlightened observations that hits you square in the chest.   Because it's so simple and obvious; but comes with a powerful punch. 
The world is full of shitty people saying shitty things that can make you feel shit.
And sometimes, you call them "friend."  Or family.  Or coworker. 
Those ones are not so easy to escape.  There is an "off" switch if you can simple walk away from them.    Ahhh, it's not always so simple, right?

Sometimes we try to love through the ugly and the hurt. 

What words hurt me?
You can call me any name you can think of.   Four letter.   Foul.  Unfair.  Call me ugly.  Call me a bad mother/wife/friend... pick your stone and choose your aim.
I will deflect those. 
Not because they don't hurt: certainly those all carry a sting.   I will most likely briefly react; but then I will remember something. 

I carry a certain hefty shield of Truth before me:

I KNOW WHO I AM.  AND MY VALUE.

Sorry, can't take that away from me. 

BUT - if you dismiss my words.  Assume I am stupid.   Make gross assumptions about me without any kind of dialogue with me.   Unveil your rampant sexist, racist, you-name-it-version-of-prejudice; you will see fire in my eyes. 
Oh yes, that will get my dander up. 

I am not so much personally offended.  It's more an inability to stand by and quietly continue watching that kind of venom laced hatred being spread around the globe.  It only brings us all further down, and tears us apart. 

I suppose you could say I am offended on our collective part.   Whether as women, mothers, humans.... whatever the particular attack.  

I have had certain friends who seem to relish the need to correct me.  Constantly.  It's like a never ending game of "let me show you all the ways I am better/smarter/More than you.   I won't deny - it pisses me off.   But ultimately, I have come to realize it says more about them, than it does about me.

I don't have to make their problems, my problems.



Words are indeed so powerful, they must be chosen more wisely than all the other choices in a given day.   They can be the clothes you wear.   The first and final impression.   

A mighty wind.

Would you have your words caress and warm like a gentle, summer breeze?
Or bring violence and destruction like a tornado consuming the helpless victim?

Oh, I know not all are worthy of the gentle breath of peace and love.   Indeed there are many who might deserve the righteous comeuppance of a sudden gale. 
But, none are worthless.

Those are the words I hate the most.  The ones that bring harm, doubt, condemnation, worthlessness.   Invisibility.    
Each careless word spoken, means a little less love in the world. 

We live and breathe words.   We inhale them like the very air we need.  To learn, inspire, create, communicate, and love.  They are necessary.   
If we take in the negative ones... what do you think we are more likely to exhale?

Yeah that. 
Don't breathe in the negativity.   It is a choice.   You don't need to be in the places where words are flung to harm and destroy.  Seek out all the goodness and beauty instead.  Fill your lungs with the fresh air of human kindness, compassion, and Hope.   Carry your shield of truth and value before you.  Know thyself!

I promise you, not only will your soul rejoice in the ability to take a good, clean deep breath once again.   You will find peace among the sticks and stones set to break you.  Most importantly, what you breathe back into the world, will bring beauty, life and love too. 


Words can be twisted into many shapes.
When someone unties the knots of your language -- what will the untangled truth of your inner being reveal?


Time out for Mom



Tuesday, April 5th, 2016

Sticks and Stones:  
What words make you feel the worst about yourself?
What words make you feel the best? 


Next Week:   How's it Hanging?  Share your favourite chill place.