Good morning and welcome to Coffee Chat!
This is my weekly blog series where I drink tons of coffee and chat.
With you - hopefully.

BYOB, but I supply the topic.
Jumping right in this week, because I have the sniffles and I think I may have left a lung on the basement stairs as I hacked, wheezed, and weaved my way into the kitchen for another cup of tea with honey and lemon... and I could very well just fall asleep right here on the floor by the fire before I even finish this post.

I am just back from our Sparks meeting and tonight we had a little Halloween celebration!  It was so fun, aside from my constant coughing and the suspicious looks from other parents that I ventured out of doors and around their precious offspring with what is clearly the zombie virus infection.
pppsssstttt... we're all infected anyway.

But I did turn down a cupcake.
This could be the end.

I just wanted to go home, have a hot bath, some tea and comfy PJs:  and just as I was about to slip into some nice hot bubbles.... I thought of you.

Please ignore the fact that I was actually naked so that this will be less awkward.

My Chat Post!!!  my mind screamed at me.   Yes, it's rude like that.    But it had a point - which it often does and it's greatly annoying at times I don't mind saying.

IF I did sink into that steamy, soapy abyss the next stop would be my bed and a soft pillow and y'all waking up, mug in hand, and No Me.
I know know.... it gave me chills too.

That could be fever... but I digress. 

Time out for Mom



Tuesday, October 27th/15 
The long work day is done, you arrive home 
and the first thing you do...?


Now I don't want it to sound like my weekly chat post is a burden.   Hell to the No!    The very opposite in fact: I would hate to miss it.   I would miss hearing all your thoughts on the topic at hand.    So bubbly time postponed, and it's really not such a bad deal at all.

But have you had that happen?   You get this nice picture in your mind of what you will do when you get home?   How you will unwind.  Chill.  Relax.   Maybe music is your thing.   Maybe yoga.   Maybe wine.
I say go for the Hat Trick and have yourself a good time!

And then as soon as you step in the door, reality gives you a good bitch slap up side the head!   Kids need this.  Hubby can't find that.   Why is the fire alarm blaring?    And who put the tiara on the cat?

Chaos assembled!

I ask because.... that doesn't happen to me.   I am already here.   Still.   THEY come home to me and get the reminders as soon as they step in the door.

Hello my darlings - how was school?!!   Wait.....take off your shoes.   Put them on the Mat.  the mat...the MAT!!  The SAME MAT you do every day!  yes, there.   No, pick up your coat.  Your coat!  On.The.Floor.   Behind you.... good lord child were they able to teach you today because I think your head is still here. 
No... not dropped on the bench.  Hang it up!   On.The.Hanger.   is this your first day here?  honestly?  
*loud child sighs for eternity followed by feet pounding on stairs*
Where's your backpacks?
*blank stares into black hole of nothingness*
Go back and get your backpack.
YES NOW.    *grumbling sounds in the distance*
No, don't just drop it on the floor... where's your lunch kit?   The thing with the food in it?!!!   Bring it to me.  Yes. NOW.   *eye roll so violently something sprains*
Good, thank you.   Gracious!  Did you eat nothing today?  How are you alive?   Do you want mommy to make you something?    Do you have homework?   What do you mean you don't know?    *inaudible grumble noises*
Okay fine.  Go play for a bit before supper.   Wait!  Come give me a hug, mommy missed you.

And End Scene.
Every.Single.Day.

I am in Groundhog Day Hell the entire school year.



The thing is though - I get it.   Completely.    Before I decided to stay home and be mom 24/7, I remember those days of coming home, in the door.... and right into more work.   How those moments kept building upon one another until it seemed my life was just an ever revolving door of Things That Must Be Done.
There was no time to be, no room to breathe.   The moments were getting harder and harder to enjoy.   Which is why I stopped.  And why I now seek to be more present in moments as they come.

So, naturally I would like to create the same environment for my children.   I mean, yes - for goodness sake; please put your things away we are civilized people.   My head is a giant fuzzball and the cat keeps figure eighting around my feet: I don't need to two step around shoes, coats and backpacks also, and Lord knows if I fall and break a leg you all will starve and not have clean bed sheets for weeks... because stop rolling your eyes at me that actually happened once.   No, ZooZoo you were not already "borned" then.

But after those few things please God in all your goodness and fairness help them actually remember on their own  they get free time.   Time.To.Be.

Other parents may differ and decide homework should be done straight away.  Maybe they have places to be and it cannot be done later.  Maybe they just prefer it that way.   There's no right or wrong here:  just what works.   And I find my kids, much like myself, need a bit of a break after the long school day.  Mentally, physically, emotionally:  I get the need to just check out for a spell.

I don't have a "finally home" ritual these days, because I am already here.   But I do know that I like to be able to prepare dinner, maybe have a glass of wine, in a calm atmosphere and for me that means:   Math problems don't mix with chopping vegetables.   Seriously, I hate math still and I am armed.

I have found my children often tackle their homework with much less fuss when they have had a chance to be kids again, feed their bodies, and recharge their batteries.  Their little brains are ready to learn again: open to receive.   Instead of being rushed right into the next thing that must be done.  No pause.   No breathe.   No time to create moments and simply linger.

Why? Why world always with the doing?  No - just be for awhile.  

There will be enough days when a rush is upon for us - for whatever reason.   I like the in between days to be softer places for us all to fall.  To rest in each other and be strengthened in our little unit. 

Now, if you ask what happens when they all should be in bed lights out?   That's an entirely different story.
4 pm Mommy is calm and joyful to welcome her brood back under her wings.
There may even be cookies.

No one wants to see 9 pm Mommy.   She's a force to be reckoned with.  
But just remember, if it gets ugly; she can probably be bribed with some bubbles.



What does your end of day look like?

Next Week:  If you could teleport, where would you go?