Why I am trying so hard to stay in the Now?
Quite simply, how can I enjoy what is currently happening, or where I am at, if I am always too busy trying to get elsewhere?

The present moment is inseparable from life, so you are really deciding what kind of a relationship you want to have with life.
~ Eckhart Tolle

The Moments should not be treated as if they were a means to and end.
Or an obstacle to overcome.

"If I only solve this problem, or that problem, then I can be happy."

The external reality you find yourself in, always reflects back to your internal state.
Perhaps that is why so many today are finding that Life is the enemy.

I have decided I do not want a dysfunctional relationship with the Present Moment.
A big part of ending that is Seeing the problem.  Being awoke to my relationship with Now.
And it is then, that I can begin to watch it dissolve.

And then, saying a rousing YES to my new friend, the Now.

I originally saw this post over at the amazing Tamara Camera Blog.   You know Tamara right?  Of course you know her - everyone knows her.   And her camera that captures life in such a beautiful and magical, yet seems so simple and pure way?

(The meme was first created over at The Golden Spoons blog.)

 Get a coffee, get comfy; it's a long story the telling of Where I Am: Currently.



What are you:


READING

I have a couple of books, in various modes, on the go right now.  One is an actual book on my nightstand and it is Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things: a collection of short stories.  When I wake up in the night and cannot get back to sleep, or have nothing ready to emerge in terms of writing: I turn to Neil.

My Kindle currently has another book by Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks, and another that is assisting on my journey towards the Now;  Be Still and Know, by Thich Nhat Hanh.   That's a lot of heavy reading I have been doing, thus I think I am going to start a book by another blogger this week:  Rock Star's Girl, by Jennifer Farwell.  

PLANNING

Aside from working through our Summer Fun List (we can now cross the beach, ice cream, and the Minions movie off the list), I am sure we will be adding more fun things as the summer continues.  Also, our annual camping trip is fast approaching and that is always a lot of planning. 

I still have my DIY headboard project to complete my master bedroom makeover.  Finally, I will have to repaint my living room due to breaking through the wall to check a leaking pipe.  I may be secretly happy about that.

STRESSING

You know what?  nothing.  I don't think I have any stresses at the moment.  Now, had I started this post 2 days again, I would have probably said, my parents move...because OMG.  Mind you, I was not stressing specifically myself: I was just coping with THEIR stress.  I am happy to report though, it is all done.  They are here!!
And my mom was able to take a break from unpacking to join us for the Minion movie. I do believe that is the first time she has been able to go to the movies with her grandchildren.


Nothing but smiles here.



I still have trouble finding time to fit all the things I would like to accomplish into the day.  I am committed to my writing more than ever now.  Also to working out almost daily.  I just cannot let these things go ever again.  They are so much apart of what help to calm and centre me.   Which is why I think what might normally have stressed me out, is not doing so these days.


WISHING

Money. Yeah, I know you expected something all touchie-feeling and wrapped in colourful bows of Pure Joy here, but sadly; money is really tight right now thanks to the purchase of a new (ish) van recently.  And summer fun lists are not always free.  So, yeah, a little extra in our pockets would be nice. I am not talking lottery win of millions or anything.

More specifically what I do mean, is that I will probably be looking at employment this Fall, and I really really wish that I could find something that give us that bit of cash.... and where I do not have to spend the days wanting to stab my own eye with a fork.

What I am saying is, no -- I do not want to work in an office job ever again.
That is what Hell looks like to me.  So I am wishing that I could find a place I fit, and enjoy the work.

Oh, and world peace, because of course.

FEELING

Present. Grateful.  In the creative Zone.  That special kind of happy that only comes when from feeling good about yourself; without the need of any one's approval.

"birds flying high, you know how I feel
breeze driftin on by you know how I feel..."



Also, I have this feeling... of waiting, an anticipation - maybe even a yearning, that some Thing is waiting round the bend, and I don't know what it might be.  In this moment, I feel positive; like that new day is dawning.   Other times, yeah - there is worry attached.  Is our life too charmed and one day soon the last rose petal will fall and the spell broken?

This is why Now is so important.  I don't want to live in the shadows.


LISTENING

Truth be told, as I write this I am desperately trying to drown out the pitiful cries of one kitty that wants outside.  It is most distracting and annoying.  I can hear my girls giggling in their bedroom, where no sound should be coming from at 8 pm.  The TV is playing in another corner of the house - I am a tour du France widow these days.  Just to the side of me, the soothing sound of water cascading from the aquarium.

Oddly, all is still in the world beyond my windows: a storm approaches.
Perhaps I should revisit this one in a few hours.

Mostly, I am listening to Life.  A life that is full of laughter, and cheering, and yes even crying; for into each life a little rain does sometimes have to fall.

Thankfully, I'm the sorta gal who happens to love the rainy nights.

THINKING

I often think that I am just not that smart at all.  For example,

"The stream of thinking has enormous momentum that can easily drag you along with it. Every thought pretends that it matters so much. It wants to draw your attention in completely. Here is a new spiritual practice for you: don’t take your thoughts too seriously." 

~ Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

Or, maybe I am just too serious.  Either way, I am doing A LOT of thinking lately. I can't stop thinking it would seem, although, kinda always had that problem.  Now I'm just trying to make the most sense out of it.  Then again, maybe I don't to do it at all. Maybe it isn't important.

Thinking is only one small part of our human nature, and giving all my attention to thoughts alone; well, that doesn't always lead to Wisdom.  That only comes when we give attention to the Whole.  Our Full attention focused.   So, I focus the lens, and try to think less.


LOVING

So much. Now this is where thinking ceases, and pure emoting explodes.
What is not to love?

Beach days of hot sun and cool waters; and splashing and treading water so long you are not sure which aches more - your arms, or your sides from laughing.

Days so hot that you have to lick the ice cream cone so fast, and still it's sticky goodness drips down your arm.

Sharing a bucket of popcorn with your 5 year old, and watching her wide eye AWE at the movie screen....more than you watch the movie itself.  Every now and then her buttered and chocolate covered (hey, where did you get Kit Kat?) fingers reach over to clasp and squeeze your own.

The smell of the BBQ firing up,the sound of steaks sizzling, and the twisted breath of air escaping a beer ice cold from the cooler.

A phone call of "I'll be there in 5 minutes" and knowing that finally, YES - this is true.


WEARING


Ack - you caught me.
I am writing this at nigth after putting the kids to bed, so yes - I am in my pjs'

I cannot promise that 9 am might have looked any different.
I'm okay with that.

It's on the summer fun list afterall.


HOPING

I hope I always dream in colour.  This world is already full of black and white.
I hope I always dance when the Jackson 5 comes on -- otherwise; please tell me to re-evaluate my life.
I hope I always find a reason to smile.
I hope I can always tell the difference between a bad day, and a bad life.
I hope that sometimes I win, but sometimes, I learn.

And I hope that sometimes, I get a little lost along the way.  Because that is often where you find the most interesting of places.
Most of all, I hope I just remember to pay attention to all the Good Stuff.