Happy Tuesday and Welcome to the Coffee Chat!

Let's raise a mug and congratulate one another on surviving Monday.
I don't know about yours, but mine was a lot of blog reading.   Apologies to those of  you who got slammed with some comment love from me All At Once.

Really though, if y'all could slow down on the awesomeness: I might be able to keep up!

Oh?
You don't think you're awesome?
I bet you ask yourself the same question I do .....  a lot.


I wonder if they actually SEE me at times.
It's amazing how far off a judgement or assumption can often be.   All of us are probably guilty of judging a book by it's cover from time to time.
Sometimes we might be right on -- other times, not so much.
Thus, one should always error on the side of caution and not jump to conclusions.

Easier said then done.
Time out for Mom


Tuesday, April15th/14

Tell me about a time someone made a completely wrong assumption about you. 
(And did you totally throat punch them?)

 One hard lesson I learned back in my university days, was that if I wanted people to know my story: then it probably was a good idea to make sure my "cover" was an accurate reflection of the content inside.  

Here's the story:
A young girl; away from home for the first time and working to pay her way through her studies.  She's a good girl; she was raised right.  She has morals, and clearly a strong work ethic.  She's wary of those smooth Frat boys that come calling.   She knows there should be more than a handsome face, or a fat wallet.   But, she also wants to fit in.  Make friends.   So she dresses perhaps a little more risque than what she might have back home under mama's watchful eye.  Not rude.  Not flashy.  But hey, she's young and in her prime and not wasting all those hours in the gym to hide behind baggy sweats!   Her hair is long and let's be honest - those curls attract a fair amount of the male gaze.  As well as female envy.   But....she's not really hurting anyone.

And she needs this job.  Even though the black cocktail dress it requires is basically painted on.   It definitely helps with the tips!!   So what if the boys.... the men... want to stare a bit too long when they order drinks.  It's not hurting anyone, right?

Until it does.
One night, when the club is hopping, she's in the VIP section:  Mr Big Deal's Beck and Call Girl for the night.  Fine - she can handle this.  It's just for money, and he seems nice.
Until he's not.

An Indecent Proposal is offered.   A penthouse apartment.  All the nice tight designer clothes your hot young body can squeeze into.  A car.  Spending money for school.  And... perhaps a few nice trips during the school year.   Mostly.... no more trying to work long hours AND study.
Sounds like a pretty good deal for a young girl who can barely make her rent.  Not to mention how she will watch all her rich friends fly south for Spring Break;  while she tries to pick up extra hours to pay for more books for her studies.
Except, that Beck and Call Girl thing?   Well, it will be a bit more permanent.
But he's also married (his wife is actually in the bathroom during The Proposal), so how often would you really have to be "available"? 
A simple solution to a very real financial problem, right?

Until it isn't simple anymore.
Now, of course our well raised girl said No!    It didn't even take a moments thought to call him a pig and walk away.  Just as his wife returned to the table.
Of course, she lost her job that night. 
But I rather think she held on to something much more important and valuable.

Still, you know she always wondered why he asked her.   Of all the girls working in the club.  All in tight black dresses with long tresses - why her?   What made him think: She's the One!
She wasn't prettier, or thinner, or a better hostess than anyone else.
And it occurred to her that what bothered her most about this man and his proposal:  was that he assumed she would say yes.

Because she probably looked and acted like all the ones that said yes before.
Until, she didn't.

You know, I ran into his wife some months later in the restroom of fancy restaurant a Real Gentleman had taken me too.   When she saw me, she said, "well, you don't look very tanned for being in the Mediterrean!" 
I just took her hand and told, "I said no.  It's not meAnd I'm so sorry that he asked me. I didn't do anything."
She gave me a hug and replied, "oh honey, thank you.  And.....you didn't have to do anything.  Men like him just think they always can."

I had to know why she stayed with him - knowing what he was.   She just shrugged and said that he took care of her and their children.  She was living the luxurious life she had always wanted.  Her kids got the best of everything.   She made the trade for them mostly.

I left that little meeting with 2 conclusions:

1.  Never again would I look the Part -- that is not reflective of the Real Me.    I would make sure the external image would not be where my value was focused.

2.  I had resisted trading my morals and values for the easy way out:  And I could do it again.  Seventy times over if I had to.

But I rather expect, that as long as I remain faithful to #1 -- I won't have to worry about #2.
Or any more indecent proposals. 

They will know from looking at me; I am not the girl you think I am.
(And no - I didn't throat punch him.  But I wanted to.)

Has anyone ever misjudged you, or assumed something about that was So Wrong; yet made you re-evaluate your life in some way?

Next Week:  We've had some deep chats - let's lighten things up a bit.   Share something that made you laugh this past week. 



About The Author
Leslie Botchar, aka "RoryBore", is a SAHM enjoying life one day - and one cup of coffee - at at time.
She has had several articles published in The Huffington Post, and hopes to one day marry her skills as Word Wrangler and Photo Ninja. Leslie spills it all on her blog Time Out For Mom, and invites you to join her for some Mom "Me" Time.
Connect with her: Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.