Down to the wire with my poem again.

Correct me, but isn't it supposed to get easier as you go along?

I'm going to get right to things because I actually have a blister on my finger from the mad working of my glue gun on recent Penetrating DIY crafts.
Update: well there's an interesting auto correct:  "Pinteresting"

All those years of playing sports, and it's putting fabric on a darn diaper box that does me in.

I may very well trade my DIY past time for something easier on the digits.
Or buy a better glue gun.

Probably that.

Half-way through the month, and today’s prompt comes from Jared Davidavich.

Here’s Jared’s prompt:  Write a tradeoff poem. Could be an exchange, forfeit, or swap.

 I don't know how long most of you have been married.  Or if you even remember back to your wedding day and the words you exchanged with your dashing groom.   I remember quite clearly -- except that Obey one -- I kinda glossed over that one. *eye roll*  Because really, how realistic are those vows anyway?

In sickness and in health? 
Right -- ever seen the man cold in full fledge action?  

And it's a fact - money issues are a leading cause of divorce.

Thus, I propose a more realistic reading of the vows.

Reality Vows

My Beloved
On this day, I take you
to have and to hold;
forever - and you alone.
If I alone might have control of the remote 
so that I may watch All The Sports.

Dearest Love,
I will give thee the one remote,
if thou whilst promise
to rub my feet while thou watchest The Game.
Except on Fridays
when thou must watch a rom-com I choose.

My  Dearest,
I will rub thy feet,
and watch Tom and Meg - again;
if thou whilst make me Nachos Supreme
and rub my belly when I eat too much.

Seriously, Love?
Yes, My Sweet.

Will there be cuddling?
Yes - if there will be cold beer.

I swear it will be so.
'Tis good then.  Done?

Of course, but when?
mmmm.....someday.   Soon.
But just one, right?
I was thinking three......
How about 2?
one of each!  that would be nice.

Whilst thou change some diapers?
I can do that.
And some night feedings?
I can do that too ---
 -- he'll watch the game with me.

But what if it's a girl?
Then she'll learn to love hockey.
*chuckle* you'd better teach her to dance one day.
*smiling*  She'll stand on my feet.

And early mornings at the ice rink...
.....that will be rough.
Aye - some days will be tough.
But also - wonderful.

And we'll be happy?
Ever After, My Love.
Always beloved

All right then....
....spit and shake.

I do believe I have summed things up rather nicely.
If anyone here knows any reason why these vows should not be submitted for approval....
.....Speak now, or forever be doomed to watch unlimited sports with cold feet while rubbing your better halfs' sore tummy.