This Monday morning our esteemed WishMaster, with much thanks to Anja for a fun topic, has requested a list of us regarding:

Clues We Are Living in 2012.

 Hhhmmm, not sure that you would be convinced of this if  you came to my home.






Thus, here's my top 10 reasons why I am Not Quite Up To Speed






1.  I still have and use a VCR.   It would be that contraption sitting atop the DVD player (no, not Blue Ray) with the blinking red light.  It's blinking because the time is not set correctly, and with all the other technological operations I must remember every day, like feeding my children (which one likes the crust? which one wants jam, but not the peanut butter? who had the grilled cheese?), I cannot remember how to set the time.


In my defense, it is mostly used to play old Disney movies that I saved from my childhood because Disney only re-releases them every 400 years, or when there's a blue moon, or something like that.

2.  I still use CDs.    Yes, I have an iPod and am familiar with iTunes, but since our stereo is also not quite up to speed;  I cannot connect my iPod and play said music.  Also, the FM antenna went missing so we cannot get the radio either.  And if I want my tunes in the van I require CD's.....thanks to Zoo Zoo stuffing $3.50  in assorted change into the CD slot and shorting out the radio.

Truth be known?  If I could find a turntable.....you'd find vinyl around here too.
You do know what vinyl is, right?
Heathens.

3.  My phone is intelligence challenged.   Nope, don't have Instagram.  Or Angry Birds. Can't tweet, pin, like or blog from it.   I can surf the net....if the screen was larger and I didn't have the eyesight of a bat.   But I can text.   Or rather, I answer texts.  A lot of texts.  Right Left Brain?  *eye roll*

4.  I have a land line (translation: phone with cord).   Hey....don't judge this one.  It's a safety feature.  If the power goes out, the cordless phones won't work, but the old land line will. 
If a giant meteorite strikes the earth, I am the only one who could call 911 and save us all!
Cell phone?  Oh yeah, right.  but it's probably not charged.
I told you it was stupid.

5.  I have PC...or is it called a Desktop?  I don't know.   But it's not mobile.   Well, except that one time I couldn't get the Internet, again - and I picked the damn thing up and.......well, lucky for PC - it WAS attached to the wall by wires!

(I do have a laptop.  technically.  it is ancient and the battery won't charge anymore.  thus, also not mobile.)

6.  As per above mumbling....I don't know the lingo.  Android, App, Wireless, Bluetooth, Roaming....who can keep up.  It will change in a month anyway.
 How's this:  let me know when the very last "new and improved" model is completed.  The one that cannot possibly be made any better even if another millennium passes:  I'll buy that one.  Until then, I am holding.

7.  Technology hates me.   Right Keurig?    Lulling me in with your java scented prompt sweetness.  wicked back-stabbing temptress.    Hope you liked your steam bath of death.

8.  My kids electronic game toys are used.  Yep.  The DS and the Wii were both bought second hand.  And we still made them save half the money.  We're rotten parents, I know.
Oh look....a tree.  And it's free!!  Go climb it.

9.   I live in Canada.   You know it's cold here certain months, right?   Like see your breath at the morning at the bus stop by September cold.  Yet, despite sub zero temperatures most of the year, I still must walk outside to my van and start it.  With a key.   Assuming the lock is not frozen and I can get into the van.
(In which case I have to go back inside and find my ancient hair dryer and an extension cord so that I can stand there freezing and blow dry the lock.  fun times.)
No -- none of this stand in the doorway and push a button crap.   Wussies.
Sometimes....I don't even wear shoes.   Crocs are still hip, right?

10.  I wrote this post in the length of time it took my old stainless steel kettle to boil water for tea.
     Tim Horton's Drive Thru is 2 minutes down the road, but what can I say; sometimes, I like the old way of doing things.
Fine....it's the whistle.  I love the whistle.


P.S  I am not the only one Not Up To Speed.   Spell Check couldn't handle all the techo mumbo jumbo speech in this post.   I swear I got an error message that read:  "Our settings indicate you have selected English as your language of choice.  I see none. Please adjust your Language Settings."
 
What are your some of your Signs of the Times?   Share your list
 warm wishes sign