Oh bother.  Late for my own party.
So.Not.Cool
 I could blame it on the holiday weekend --- that extra day off *side eye* just through me off.

And I didn't have quite enough wine to declare it officially a Hangover Day.
Kids just tend to kill the fun of the whole buzz thing; ya know?


So welcome to the late evening edition of coffee chat.   I  do keep a fair supply of decaf and Bailey's on hand for just such occassions.     Or perhaps a nice chamoillee tea?     What's that you say ---
Leftover wine?
I'm sorry.....I don't understand the question.

 Moving on.


Why am I so late?     Well, it actually completely relates to this weeks' topic.
You see, I am trapped in an elevator.    It's been stuck awhile.    I really have to pee.    Yes, that IS my biggest fear.

The elevator's name is responsibility.
And I bet it's gonna hurt like a bugger when it drops, because it doesn't appear that any cute Keanu Reeves is coming to my rescue.

I suddenly feel like a one armed juggler at a circus convention and everyone is throwing balls at me at the same time.   No offense meant to any one-armed jugglers out there.   I am sure you are super awesome.
Me.Not.Awesome.
Lots of dropped balls.    Seriously, it's raining balls folks.  

HEY - - here's a handy tip.   Do NOT do a Google search for "balls dropping".   Just Don't.

Let's just get to the question, shall we?

Your elevator has suddenly stopped.   Who do you want trapped in there with you?  Or, who is the last person you would want to be trapped inside with?

To answer this, I must examine the reasons for my chat tardiness:

1.  I had a meeting at my church tonight to discuss the Sunday School Program.

Thus, the spiritual side of me should dutifully respond that I would like Jesus to be trapped in the elevator with me.   Except, I kinda believe He is already always with me anyways -- so that doesn't really count.   Right?   And He could just say, "open thy doors" and well, ordeal over.

Not much of a story there.


2.  I had lots of shopping to do recently due to everyone outgrowing last years' summer clothing.   Shoes.  Swimsuits.   I can't find any sun hats.  And Monkey Boy and Angel Girl need all their soccer gear.     This equals many hours spent inside a giant store.

Thus, I know with the utmost certainty I do NOT want to be trapped in an elevator with the Walmart Greeter.     I love it when I enter the store, but seriously, hours upon hours of that kind of cheerfullness?     I fear I'd cut the brake cables myself.

3.   Left Brain is home from the night shift.    He thinks I should say him.   Um, okay.... you realize it could be hours?    Fun initially - oh yes.   But seriously.....for hours?   Are you um, Up for that?  And are you going to bang my head on anything?   I need to know these things before I make a decision.

I remind him this is a super duper opportunity to indulge in some fantasy and peering over my shoulder he sees that I am waiting for Keanu.......so naturally, he invites Sandra Bullock along.

And idiot that I am, I ask the dumbest question ever in my marriage.."you mean with me there too?"
His head may have Just Exploded.

4.   I have been spending lots of time on iTunes lately and updating my music library.    So I definitely pray that I have a fully charged iPod with me when that elevator grinds to a halt.

Because, you just know, even if every other single working thing in that elevator - nay, the entire building! - should fail.   You can bet your last stick of gum, I will most certainly be enduring elevator classics like  Downtown;  Bad, Bad Leroy Brown; and The Girl from Ipanema until rescued.

If I don't slit my own wrists with my nail file before then.


But alas.....Keanu is nowhere in sight!   Now I am thinking it might be interesting to be trapped in there with the Wilfred cast:  Elijah Wood and Jason Gann -- since it appears that it is quite possibly the only way I will ever see anything remotely close to  the darn show!    Certainly it is suspect that they would want to reenact the entire first season for me, but hey -- we do have lots of time to kill.   Worst case scenario, I spend a couple of hours with a smart, sexy young man and an Australian funny bad boy.   I could deal.    I hear Elwood is a pretty good DJ - maybe he'll spin some tunes.    Ultimate Broken Elevator Dance Party!!   Woot Woot.   Yes, that's how I roll.    Don't wreck my dream.

But worse case scenario, if they remain in character:   that means I am trapped in an elevator with a slightly mental, possibly suicidal young man who, instead of a real dog, sees a grown man in a dog suit who speaks with an Australian accent, smokes, and drinks beer.   Um, the last time I checked, that kind of crazy wasn't very sexy at all.

Oh, and the dog likes to play tug of war with bras and hump things.  Now I am thinking this can't end well at all.    For any of us.    I'll wait for the DVD.

So all this reminds me of that episode of Friends when Chandler was trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.    Didja see it?





For a great clip....and how much do you miss Joey??     See it Here

Got me thinking.   Do you know who is married to Jill Goodacre?  ( Marital Aside:  Left Brain had me Google Jill Goodacre.   Alright, down boy: just stop right now.   Yes, I am pulling the plug on your dream.   I've told you:  get your own blog.)

Why Harry Connick Jr of course.

He sings.  He acts.  He's easy on the eyes.  Accent?  Check.   Charming?  Check.  I do believe we would enjoy the witty repartee.   Or, I could just listen to him sing Danny Boy, like - forever.

So yes, if I am going to be trapped in an elevator for hours upon hours, I want a complete package.
Don't get it?    Two words folks:

Hope Floats

Oh for goodness sakes......yes Left Brain.    Sandra Bullock is in that movie too.
That's what we call a win-win around here.


Next Week:  Since my recent birthday, I have been quite reflective and pensive.  I have concluded that Memories are the staircase to our most treasured things.   Share a great memory, and why/how it affects you now.

warm wishes sign