It's been a few weeks since I participated in Stasha's Monday Listicles, but Hopes at Staying Afloat! gave us a pretty good topic this week.    Even though I am slightly green with envy over her own vacay, I still couldn't resist the topic.

 


10 things that make a perfect vacation. 

1.   No doubt about it; I cannot tell a lie.   If it would fit, would be a pretty good way to start off a vacation.    
 2.   The right luggage.   A girl just has to travel in style, and since we have already entered Fantasy Land with the above attire, then I can dream about something better than the current hockey duffel bag I normally roll my clothes ever so neatly into.   Yes, I do the roll.
Love it!  but at $3900.00....I couldn't afford to go anywhere!

3.  You'd think I'd also choose an equally trendy, perhaps perfectly pink coordinating wardrobe?  Aha!  That's where I exit fantasy land because I know from experience there is nothing worse than being away from home, in a foreign climate and NOT having suitable attire.   Who knew that 28 degrees at 9 pm in Jamaica would actually feel a bit chilly?  Why would I pack a sweater?  Or, that the nudie colony you snuck into next door ...um yeah - they Dress for dinner!  (true story).    This is where fashion and function part ways.  I prefer to be prepared now.

4.  The Weather.   It's obvious:  Mother Nature simply must cooperate.  There's nothing worse than paying all that money to leave freezing Canada, only to end up in the rainy season, or worse, a hurricane.   Pointless.  Or to travel across the country for a boat tour to see some whales:  and wonder while drifting through the thickest fog you've ever seen, if you have in fact made it all the way to England. 

5.  A good book.  Plus, I always grab some magazines at the airport.   Give me a coconut drink, a good read and I can bake on the beach all day.

6.   Since I can "lay like broccoli" with the best of them -- and my Irish heritage figures prominently in speckled dots over my body and the #35a Autumn Auburn Shimmer in my hair (ahem), never, ever step out my door without sunscreen.   A great day on the beach can quickly turn to laying in agony on your hotel bed, where even the slightest movement from your singed eyelid induces intolerable pain.

And since I don't like my sunscreen to have nasty chemicals that will also give me cancer, my fave right now:

 

7.   A plan.  I know that sounds counter productive to relaxing and lounging poolside on your vacation.   And I will certainly be doing those things too.  But I also figure "why come to a foreign country if you are not going to do a bit of exploring?"   I always do a bit of research before I travel to determine some activities not offered by the resort.   And I have been known to hire locals to take me "off the beaten path."; but be forewarned - you should really have a sense of local customs, etc. because, Mr. Rasta Taxi Man:   yes, he Can have more than 1 wife.   And those buff men on Cuban beaches - yeah, they don't leave. ever.  and they're armed.  skip the sex on the beach fantasy.

8.   A List.  Check it twice.  (How's that for irony?)   But it can be really surprising how much Crest toothpaste will cost you in Cuba.....and that after tossing back, well,  the entire bar shot list in a challenge between fellow Canadians and some brave Brits:  you will pay $10 Canadian (or something like 450 Cuban pesos???)  for that toothpaste.  (It was my patriotic duty then, and as you know, I am now of a more reformed and refined nature.  But I can still totally chug a beer if my National Identity is threatened.)

9.   Meds.  See above. 

10.  The Best Travel Companion(s).   Absolutely essential for those not travelling alone.  The wrong travel buddy can quickly turn the perfect vacation into a nightmare.   You can insert your own terrible image here -- but let me just say:  if you have ever had the misfortune to travel to sunny tropics with 'Samantha Jones incarnate' and returned to your hotel room Every Frickin Nite to discover a tie around the door knob, and the dead bolt thrown.   Beach chairs are not that comfy for actual sleeping.  Or, with those who are so intent on imbibing as many "wobbly pops" as the cute locals can afford; that not only forget where they are going....they forget they are supposed to bring you too.  And the next thing you know:   you are stranded atop a dark mountain at roughly 4 am, with no idea where to go, or what to do.

But if you just stay calm and think real positive thoughts.  You are not going to let this ruin your perfect vacation, and maybe, if you make a wish on one of those twinkling stars you swear you can reach out and grab, you might just get the happy ending, and head off into the sunset with your rescuer. (another true story)
Thank You Kindly, my own dear Benton, for saving my Vacation!

*sigh* If only he'd fit in that pretty trunk.
Wouldn't every vacation be perfect.......I mean of course, perfectly safe.   You know...woman travelling alone and all.  You can never be too, um, safe.

11.  And bonus item, that given our host, I simply cannot forget to add to the list:  you will want to make sure you capture those perfect moments.   Don't forget your camera!

Cuba

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, Canada

Jamaica me crazy!


What, or who would you take to make your vacation perfect?

live signature