I used to follow celebrity news when I was footloose and fancy free. But once marriage and children came along, it just didn't seem so relevant any longer. Gossip was rock stars trashing hotel rooms and handsome leading men getting caught in compromising positions. After watching 20/20's interview with Charlie Sheen (an actor who's work I have always enjoyed), it occurs to me that these people ARE often also parents. And when one of them landslides down a path of destruction, vulnerable children are often along for the ride.  Although, as much as we are riveted, noises loftily raised, you do realize it does happen outside La La Land, right?

Now obviously I am quite removed from the tinsel and trappings of Hollywood here in my little town. As a SAHM of 3, what could I possibly know of "celebrity".   Well, honestly, nothing.  But I do know about watching people self-destruct, and watching Mr. Sheen's interview the other night:  the fidgeting, darting eyes, repetitive phrases which only mean something to him, the denial,  and the self-grandoise --- reminded me of a friend I used to know.   I often think about her still.  Even miss her.  She was quite the opposite from me, but I just simply really liked her.  She was one of those people that others are just inexplicably drawn to.  Men would follow her to ends of the earth -- no matter the personal and emotional cost.  She just had that affect.  But she was lost.  Whatever the reason, really lost.  Oh, she'd walk the straight and narrow for a spell.  Get married, have a kid.  Bake brownies and host BBQ's.   But her demons always seemed to catch up with her.   When it was fun though.....it was a BLAST.   epic as Mr Sheen would probably say.   We were "winning."  But you see, that's the trouble with trouble; it often starts out as fun. 

I still (vaguely) remember a wicked 3 month bender she and I......well, survived.  Guess that's the only way to describe it.  I had just been blind-sided by a break-up with someone I thought was ready to propose (as was all our friends and family.)  I was reeling.  She was unhappy in her 2nd marriage.   Yeah - Thelma and Louise all dressed up and just begging for a reason to run.   But chronicling our alcohol induced adventures, and eventual Fail, is not the point of this post.   Clearly, as my bio suggests... I found The Way, The Truth and the Light.   That was my dark period of questioning my faith and what God's plan for me was.   Or rather, to stop questioning and just follow on faith.  It took work, but I emerged with faith restored and stronger for the fight.  And what about my friend?  Exactly, what about her.  That's the point...I don't know what happened.  I walked away.  I justified it by saying I couldn't fix myself and her.  And while it is true that you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped --- some truths are just no excuse. But that's not the worst way I failed her.

Just as I  now watch how a celebrity hell-bent on self-destruction is abandoned by his peers:  A community which values your dress size, marketing value and "what have you done for me lately?".   No one wants his stink to stick to them.....so they run.  I ran too.   It is true that I couldn't be around my friend for certain things, the temptation would be too great.  I know what drove me down that dark path, but to this day, I don't know what drove her.  I knew she was in pain - it takes one to know one --- but I didn't dig deeper.  I buried my head in the deep sand of my own trials.  Not my finest Christian moment.  And maybe I judged her a little bit too, instead of talking and sharing our burdens.  And that is how I failed her.  Not listening.  Really listening

Millions, via entertainment news, internet and Twitter, are now watching Mr. Sheen's fall from grace.  Some will laugh, some will raise him up and further fan the flames of delusion,  others will judge and criticize.  Many will watch.  Many will talk.    But...... is anyone really listening?

AD:   I loved you like a sister I never had, and I should have stuck. Because love sticks. Wherever you are, I hope that there is love, joy and peace surrounding you.   It's just OJ in my glass tonight, but heres' to hoping:  SYOTOS!