As parents, we all dread that one day our precious little ones will become the target of some mean schoolyard bully.  How do we arm them against such nastiness in the world.  How do we teach them not to fight, but to still have the strength to stand up for themselves?   As I always say, "What you feed, will grow!".    If  you practice love, kindness and respect, your child is sure to follow your example.  A child that has self respect and knows love feels no need to belittle and torture another human being.  But what if mommy doesn't practice what she preaches? 

When I became a mom I thought I finally had membership into a loving and supportive community.  And for the most part that was true.  But the other part......oh my.   Now I know in the country we like to joke, "if you don't have something nice to say about someone......come sit next to me."   However, as I mom who has been subjected to harsh criticism and even hate filled rants, I think the one about just keeping your mouth closed builds better communities.   I have been told that I was an idiot for feeding my baby jar food.  Little did that person know that at home I did make most of the food, but I had a bit of trouble fitting my blender in my purse for dining out.  Thus, I kept some jar food on hand for those times.   What bothered me most?  Being called an idiot, or the fact that I was suddenly put on the defensive?   Well, since I know I am not an idiot, I think it was being put in the position to explain and/or defend my choices that was most irritating.   I have also had comments "oh, you don't want to bond with your baby?"  when I was giving my 2nd baby a bottle.  What a mean spirited accusation!  Little did that person know that I was having difficulties with an ongoing infection and was pumping my milk at that time.  Again, having to explain or defend myself.   How do you handle such people?   How do you put the noses of these individuals back where they belong.....In Their Own Business?   Yes,  you could just ignore them.  (no feed, no grow).  But here in the country I like to think we have mastered the art of the subtle put-down.  That tricky way of letting someone know they are out of line, but in such a manner that they don't know they have been rebuked.   So....now I simply tilt my head and ask sweetly, "Why do you want to know?/Care, etc."   Put it right back to them.  Let them defend themselves.

I left a mom community recently (and joined Social Moms - way better! widget in sidebar) because there was so much hating going on.  It stated that it would not tolerate any "thumps", but the majority of discussions I participated in ultimately dissolved into angry words and even cursing at one another.   There was one member whose comments repeatedly spewed venom - and yet the administrators did not delete the comments, or block the user.   Now, I am all for a spirited debate, but as blog owner, I have the responsibility to ensure that it is an intelligent, and thought provoking debate.  Any negative remarks or emotionally charged comments would  be deleted.  Too many curses and you are outta here!   So what can we do as bloggy moms to stop this kind of grown up cyber bulling?

TAKE THE PLEDGE!

You can also find The Mom Pledge button in the scrolling marquee to the right.  I urge all mommy bloggers to visit her site and take this pledge.  Let's unite in loving support as mothers; not just for our own development, but for the most important reason:  our children!

EPH 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.