Been awhile again. then again, I have had my hands quite full. new baby. 2 other kids. Christmas is the busiest time of the year. shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, travelling. Actually, being wise in my old age, I decided not to travel anywhere this year. Thought it would be nice to just be at home. Especially since my husband was not working Christmas Eve or Day....which is quite rare. Just attended 1 dinner on Christmas Day because I had family that was in town, and my grandmother would be there (she had to go in a nursing home this summer and has not seen the new baby yet). To my disappointment though, we missed great/grandma. All that rush to get there....and she left 10 minutes before we arrived. Which brings me to the point of my title...... is there any point??
Often the majority of my struggles: life, wife, parent....esp. as a mom, results from trying to hard to make something like the image in my mind. square peg in round hole dilemna. Like this blog. I don't think anyone is reading....so why do I bother? why do I worry if I have not updated lately? Facebook and Twitter are so much easier. Just a quick random thought. Upload a funny pic of the kids. There really isn't much pressure to be witty, amusing, wise, or otherwise memorable. But here, I feel like I must offer....something. I mean, who really cares that my 2 year old daughter just dropped one of her brother's toys down the drain..... resulting in the hostage taking of one the Disney Princesses???! (negotioations were tough....but jelly beans can solve any conflict in sibling rivalry apparently.....if only the entire world was so easy.) Aren't I supposed to make my mark in the competitive world of mommy blogging. and how does one do that? what makes my crazy days stand out any more remarkable than another mommys'. we are all in the same boat, same stream carrying us far out to sea sometimes....... some days with a paddle, more often without. If I am supposed to be feel like part of a larger picture, why does it feel more like a "selfie".
So, I must remind meself of the blog's purpose. Time. Out. For. Mom. Why, that would be ME. I started this blog as a way of clearing out my head. as a way to cope with being at the bottom of the totem pole most days. something that was created by me, for me. Hopefully I might connect with other moms out there....especially stay at home moms as it can be very isolating. maybe I would touch another life out there in some way. maybe mine would be touched in reading of anothers' journey. and maybe someday, when my kids are older....they will also contribute. A digital record of our family. warts and all. But for now, it is mine all mine. Who cares if I never make the 50 most influential Mommy Bloggers list (some great blogs on there though!), or if hubby wakes up one day and can quit his job because the blog makes so much money (dream a little dream, eh). This is supposed to be a way to keep my sanity. Okay, maybe the impossible dream since the kids have just knocked everything off the coffee table in their very creative attempt to make a fort between it and the couch with a blanket. But just maybe, if mommy has something for herself, one day....maybe in the distant future....she can see the humour, or applaud the creativity of the moment.....instead of just seeing all the stuff that fell on the floor. Wiser bloggers than I have suggested that if mommy takes care of herself, she will be a better mom.
And that my friends, is the point.
And now I need to grab the jelly beans, hide the dolls, and go rescue one of my son's trains from certain destruction.